Day 14–15 of the Doodle Experiments, 30 days of White on Black
I had an idea and very quickly it went awry.
And everything I did to try to improve it made it worse, until I had created a big mess. I wanted to tear it up and start over. I wanted to hide my terrible mess. No one would be the wiser if I just excluded it.If left it out, I would save myself from embarrassment.
I saw Asteroid City last night. I am a fan of Wes Anderson’s work and though I loved the worlds he brought together, it didn’t work. The elements didn’t hold together. It was a mess.
But an interesting mess. Much more interesting than 99% of the things I see on Netflix which are don’t have the distinction of being terrible or terriblygood. The demand that everything be a hit, means everything is passable but few, if any, memorable.
So maybe it’s okay that this doodle turned out terrible. I decided not to tear it up, to include it in my diary here, publicly, because it’s good for everyone to know that no one gets to something real without mistakes and failures, subjective and public.
I used to think I just hadn’t found the right path, the clear airbrushed one that took everyone else directly to success and satisfaction and mastery.
Now, I am am aware that my path, the only one I can actually step onto and follow, is made up and illuminated by all my missteps, my terrible mistakes, that lead me not in the direction I intended or hoped, but led me here.